The 4 Step Relational Framework

A recap of the 4 step process for centering relationships in mission-driven work

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

Let’s review.

The Relational Framework we’ve laid out has four steps, or check points:

Step 1. Mindset Check

Before starting a new mission-driven relationship to “save the world”, first think about all of the stuff you are bringing to that relationship and whether it should be there. If you are seeking fame and appreciation, you might try softening that into a sense of interdependence and a willingness to be open to whatever outcomes might be ahead. See if you can try on curiosity and a desire to be connected in a way you haven’t been before. Bottom line - your mindset matters.

Step 2. Partnership Alignment Check

You aren’t doing this work in a closet. You have to reach out and build relationships with those in your community wanting to head in the same direction. Ensuring that every party is in alignment in terms of things like expectations, roles, definitions of success, etc. is critical. We’ll be laying out some questions that might help you get there in posts to come. Bottom line - find ways to make the unseen seen and talk about it.

Step 3. Behavior Check

We are striving to strengthen the health of the relationship here. Think about it this way, if someone were watching you in a meeting with your partners without the sound on, would they come away thinking that the relationship is a safe space? Are people making eye contact? Is everyone participating, leaning forward into the space? Bottom line - showing up, doing what you said you would do, and listening to understand is the type of behavior you want to double down on in getting to WE.

Step 4. Repeat or Repair

We all have unskillful moments. It isn’t a matter of if, but when. If things seem stalled, reflect on which step might be off kilter. And if you aren’t seeing where things went wrong, start over. Bottom line - relationships are messy and can’t be set on autopilot. We need to continually examine mindset, alignment and behavior and engage in apology and repair when needed.